Your "Love" Is A Lie

What if all we ever were taught about love, the very definition, was a complete lie? In this episode, we challenge the cultural narrative that "love" is a feeling and return to the biblical definition of love. We’ve been taught to measure love by feelings, chemistry, and emotional intensity, but biblical love tells a very different doctrine. What if love were never something we feel, but something we do? What if love wasn't optional?

Transcript

Host: Smilla 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Revival, a podcast where we reflect, we restore, and rebuild based on biblical doctrines and wisdom. I'm your host, Smilla. People call me Smile, and today's message is called Your Love is a lie. Yikes, I feel somebody got offended already. That title and line can feel a bit like an attack, a little bit like a uh, you know, but stay with me. Offense and discomfort often reveal areas God wants to cleanse. And on this podcast, we believe that conviction is the very beginning to revival. But first, let's pray. Father God, I just pray for this message. Father, I thank you that you have blessed me with this message, that you are using me as a vessel. I just pray for myself and everyone listening that we will just be in a receiving posture, Lord, where we can receive this new true doctrine and lay down any false doctrine that we have. I pray that you will make a make it known, whatever area where we have false doctrine that does not align with who you are and your word. And um, yeah, use me today, speak for me today in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen. So a couple days ago, I was getting ready and got a vision, and simultaneously reflecting on this message actually, because your girl's mind is always active. Um, and in my vision, there were two strawberries and two people. One strawberry was up close and one strawberry was far away. And the two people had to basically tell their truth of which strawberry was blurry and which strawberry was sharp. And person A said that the strawberry up close was the sharpest, and the strawberry far away was blurry. And person B said that the strawberry far away is the sharpest, and the strawberry up close is the blurry one. They both were very certain that they were in the right. That their truth was the right truth. The right doctrine. But then God said, Both of you are wrong. The truth is that one of you is nearsighted and one of you is far-sighted. What if their relationship, regardless if it was romantic or not, what if neither you or the other person were in the right? What if both of you had different doctrines and both doctrines were not of God? I was curious as a why, of all things strawberry was the barrier fruit of my vision until I later found out that later in the medieval Europe, um, strawberries became symbols of love. Because they were known for their red color and heart shape. But I just thought that was really cool. They associated them with like romance and purity. I just thought that was pretty cool. Anyway, if my vision and title didn't already give it away, today we're gonna talk about love. And a friendly disclaimer, this message left myself up in my seat, out of shock. So stay till the very end, for you are in for a ride. I would argue that unless you've read the Bible in Greek and Hebrew, we all have false doctrine of love. And I'm gonna spend about 40 to 50 minutes of your time and break down why your definition of love is a lie. I came across a video on social media quite some time ago now, maybe a couple weeks ago, a month ago, of a young woman talking about how she can't wait to submit to a man because then she doesn't have to do her finances, because she expressed that she didn't know how to handle her finances, and then she didn't have to do certain things because she was tired of being independent and caring for herself. Because her reasons were rooted in self-solution, self-gratification, and convenience, I was like, that's probably why God hasn't allowed her to be found by a husband yet.

Equally Yoked

Host: Smilla 4:38

Sorry, but equally yoked is not just in faith, it's in character. The areas in which you want your partners to be efficient in, you also have to be efficient in. How are you gonna have the awareness of him being a great leader of the household if you don't have a foundation of how that area can or should be led? And I'm not saying that we should have a foundation or learn how to lead our household so that we can point out whenever our partner or like husband is leading wrongly or poorly. No no no. But rather so that we can acknowledge when to pray for him. Marriage is a partnership. How are you gonna go into partnership with no foundation of budgeting and finances, spiritual discipline and emotional maturity? Proverbs eighteen twenty two He who finds a wife finds a good thing He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Ladies, maybe if you haven't been found yet, it's because you're not marriage material. Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me. I'm single, I'm in the same boat, and if you're not single listening to this and you're married in your relationship, God bless you. Bah stay with me. For the verse says that you should already have the characteristics of a wife when he finds you. That means some of you need to stop avoiding you. We need to stop reflecting externally and start examining internally. None of us are perfect. We're all broken people. We're not Jesus. Therefore, there will always be parts in our flesh that we need to crucify and force into submission into biblical doctrines. Many of us are so OMG, he needs to figure it out, he needs to have this and that. Okay. What about you? Do you have those things complete and accomplished? Or I hear people say, I've done a lot of self-work and I'm ready for my wife, for my husband. Or Christian men are just not on the market. I would say that that's pride talking. We're called to not rely on self. I think it's great to analyze that you have done a lot of self-work and restoration and rebuilding, but to claim you are complete is a presumption. Because none of us are never truly perfect. Only Jesus was the truly obedient, perfect man of God. We live in a fallen world. And as long as we breathe, God's Spirit is going to continue to reveal areas that needs cleansing, revival, and alignment with his truth. Life and seasons is going to continually challenge us to lay down false doctrine and allow God to mold us into his image. Our growth is important, yes, I agree. But completeness comes only in him, not in self-achievement. Many of us are not aware of the true biblical doctrine of what love actually is and the weight and the confession of the sentence I love you, and therefore might go through toxic relationships, disappointments, unmet expectations, etc. Because we have a false understanding of what we are receiving and what we are giving. Love, as I said in another episode, is not transactional, not situational, not even rational, but actually it's not even optional. It's simply a commandment that comes with a free will choice to fulfill. However, we can't fulfill a commandment that we don't know or understand. Let's read 1 Corinthians 13 4. Come on, you guys knew it was coming sooner or later.

What Love Is

Host: Smilla 8:58

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. It's something you do not something you feel. Oh some of you are not ready for this.

Love Is NOT A Feeling

Host: Smilla 9:29

You know love is not a feeling, right? Saying I love you is not expressing an emotion, it's actually confessing you're executing the actions of love. Of the Greek word agape, in fact. Stay with me, I'm gonna break it down. Paul wrote this she code to the church to correct them of their false, prideful doctrine of love and disorderly worship and comparison and character. He calls them out on their false doctrine and corrects them what love actually is. Many of us need the same correction because the love we've been taught by the world is a lie. This is an English translation of the original Greek transcripts. You have the Old Testament, which original transcripts were in Hebrew, and you got the New Testament, which was translated from Greek.

Love in Hebrew & Greek

Host: Smilla 10:30

The Old Testament used Hebrew words for love like dod, dod, which was beloved, lover, you have yada, which was to know deeply, and ahavah, which was the the highest form of love, sacrificial, covenantal, um, familial, sometimes marital, depending on context, because unlike Greek words, you needed context to know which type of love that was implied. But um ahavah was the main love word used in the Old Testament, as in Jeremiah 3 31 3. I have loved you with an everlasting love, aka I have loved you with an everlasting ahavah. I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Deuteronomy 6.5, love the Lord your God, aka Ahavah the Lord your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Ahavah is covenantal, deeper than the worldly love that we know. It's not a feeling, it's something you do, not feel. And it's interesting because ahavah comes from the Hebrew word ahav, which means to give. It's something you do, something you feel. In the New Testament, which is translated from Greek, the words for love used were Phileo, which was brotherly, affectionate, friendly, loyal love, and agape, the highest form of love, sacrificial covenantal love. So ahavah from Hebrew and agape from Greek is the love that God's um throughout the Bible commands us to demonstrate. The Greek version of the Hebrew hava is agape, with other words. It's self-giving, it's unconditional, it's sacrificial love, love that seeks the good of good of the other regardless of feelings, because it's rooted in God's own nature and not human emotions. So the love that we read in 1 Corinthians 13 4, in other words, the she code for love is agape. With other words, agape is patient, agape is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Agape does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. And earlier I felt called to just research what the Greek truth word, I wouldn't try to pronounce it, I think it's like alethia or something, but it's the same uh word truth that he used when he expressed, I am the way to truth and the life. So with other words, love does not delight with evil but rejoices with the truth, rejoices with God, because he said, I am the same Greek word in that sentence as he does here. I just thought that was pretty interesting. Um it always protects, always trusts, agape, always hopes, always perseveres. Ah, so it's something you do, not something you feel. This is the she code and the meaning of the word love, real love, agape love. These verses explain what love is and how to love. And not just some of them, no all of them, all that we just read, keeping zero records of wrongs, not just holding on to like a few like little things that he or she did, no no no, leaving them all behind. Verse seven says trust always yet you're still shaking through that phone, huh? Want to make sure that he went where he said you were going? While still saying you love him That ain't love. It says always perseveres. Yet you stop trying when it's about to get difficult. Some of y'all don't even stop when it gets difficult. Some of y'all start when it's a when it's about to get difficult. Yet perseverance is continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty with little or no indication of success. So love is something you do even when you don't feel like it. Because how can someone say I love you, but they aren't kind? They always dishonor others, envy, or keep record of wrongs. They lie or don't trust you, but they say I love you. Love has no meaning, no depth unless it is the fulfillment of 1 Corinthians 13 4 to 7. Even the following verse, verse 8, love never fails, that means we're not supposed to stop. Some of you, including myself, have said I love you. Maybe you did it today. My question is, do you because saying I love you is not like saying I like you. Saying I love you is carrying all of these verses out. So if you say I love you but you're keeping record of their wrongs, you claim you love them, but you're not patient with them. You only do things for them if it benefits yourself that's not love. That's a lie. So agape love is a verb, not a noun. Not a feeling Persevering is to continue even though you don't feel like it. That means acting something out even though you don't feel like it. God is love, first John four eight translates to Ho theos Agape estin aka God is agape. So in the she code that Paul gives us in first Corinthians thirteen four, Paul is describing the very love that flows from God Himself, his way of being, his very essence, not a way of feeling. In other words, what God is, we are commanded to live. Why God says he is agape or um God loves us is because he is constantly executing first Corinthians thirteen four to eight for us. God is expressing the joy of carrying these verses out. He is confessing the actions he himself takes and executes for us. Someone who is sporty means they do sports. Someone who is gagabe means they do active sacrificial covenantal love AK Paul She code. It's not feelings, it's not butterflies it's sacrificial active love that reflects God Himself. God biblically commands us to love one another agape one another. Real love is gonna cost you something. The question is are we willing to pay the price?

The Lie

Host: Smilla 18:23

The enemy has placed this confusion through storytelling, entertainment, and cultural doctrines to make us believe that we are chasing this feeling of love. Stay with me now. Because if love is a feeling, feelings can come and go, emotions comes and goes, and if we believe that love can come and go, no covenant can be made. And if no covenant is being made, God's design is not fulfilled. And if God's design is not fulfilled, the enemy wins. If love is a feeling, people can fall out of love. Fall in love, fall in love with multiple people simultaneously, because it's understandable and acceptable, right? I mean it's it's due to love, the power of love. See how crazy that is? The enemy has manipulated agape with Eros. Eros is another Greek word for love that is not in the Bible at all. It's not found in the Bible at all. But you can find it plenty in pagan transcripts and pagan mythology. Why? Because Eros was made by the enemy.

Eros

Host: Smilla 19:48

Eros is sexualized erotic love that is rooted in self-gratification and self-satisfaction. It was an old temple prostitution and um pagan orgy rituals where they would get drunk and and indulge in gluttony and stuff themselves with food and um be unbridled in their sexuality, and it was even often described as a demonic possession. I rebuke that. Like think like modern Epstein sex parties. I guess the only change is I mean, they did eat babies back then too, but I mean today I guess they don't really stuff themselves with food, they just stuff themselves with us. If you don't know, you don't know. Don't know if the gluttony thing is common on most sex parties. I don't even want to know. But yeah, basically that is what they would do. Anyway, and don't get it twisted. Eros was a Greek word that already existed during the New Testament era, even the mid Old Testament era. Yet the writers of the Bible chose not to use that word. And many might say, and I've even heard pastors say this as well, that oh, Eros is fine as long as it's within the covenant of marriage. My question then is why do all the verses in the Bible containing marriage, sex, and love, even the song of songs, use words that rebuke Eros. First Corinthians thirteen four to eight, Paul Shecode corrects the church that hey Eros is fake. Agape is love. Agape, true love is not self seeking like Eros. The enemy's goal is to prevent God's design. So he will come after the covenant. That's why premarital. The enemy tries to make you commit sexual sin or can make you guys have sex and then post-marriage try to make you guys stop having sex and still commit sexual sin. That is why he tries to manipulate our definition of love, because it prevents covenant and strong relationship with God. You can't build a covenant on a false foundation. You can't fulfill God's design if you misunderstand the assignment and the ingredients that creates it. He prevents holy covenant by replacing it with sin and temptation. Eros is self-gratification, satisfaction, and yada, ahavah, dod, Phileo, agape, is endured in mutual covenant delight and covenant fulfillment. So people who are married and think that, oh, we're married now, so all the lustful, erotic ideas and pornographic fiction, everything lustful in my head, is now either gonna go away or it was bad before, but now we're in the context of marriage, so now I have someone to pour it all out with. Both of those examples are biblically wrong. Because we're called to tame the flesh. Die to self. Not until we get married, but during a whole walk of life. It doesn't say don't look at a woman lustfully unless she's your wife, it said don't look at a woman lustfully. We're not supposed to be self-seeking, self-gratification or self-satisfaction. That's eros. We are called to follow agape, which focus on unity, covenant. Let me put it this way. If you're if the root of you lusting over your spouse is rooted in self-gratification and self-satisfaction, it's Eros. It's not God's design. And in other words, you're missing the mark. And to sin means to miss the mark. So am I saying that Eros within marriage or sexualizing your spouse is a sin? My answer would be is it self-seeking? You want to try something with your spouse because you want to try it, because you want to feel good, because you want to get off and you want to feel better. That's self-gratification. You might be justifying that um that it's okay because sex was designed by God, right? We're made to be sexual beings. But it was designed for yada dod ahavah, meaning mutual care and covenant fulfillment. It was covenant unity. It was something good, holy, and relational. Saying Eros is okay within the context of marriage is like saying that um OnlyFans is okay if both parties are married and all the followers and buyers are also in the context of marriage because then it's in the context of marriage. No, it's still a sin if it's not God's design. I think we need to ask ourselves that if Eros was truly made and designed by God, why is it not in the Bible? It was if it was created before the New Testament, probably even during the Old Testament, how come when they had so many erotic words to choose from, Eros was never the word that they used? Could it be that the holy bride of life, these pages, could it be that God never wanted us to use that word because he was never the one who made it? If the words that he wanted us to use, study and live out was ahavah, yada, dod, agape, Phileo, etc., maybe we should focus more on them. I think the more we focus on them, the more we realize the difference between the worldly doctrine of Eros versus the Hebrew and Greek words that are actually in the Bible.

Yada

Host: Smilla 26:39

Okay. Let me show you some examples. Let's turn to the very, very, very beginning. And we're gonna read the two first humans who ever had the sex, okay? Adam and Eve. We're gonna turn to Genesis 4 because two became four. Obviously, that's not why it's Genesis 4, I don't think, at least. I mean, it might be at this point. Anyway, verse 1, Genesis 4. Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. This is the Old Testament, which means that the word love here is translated from Hebrew, right? And the word was Yada. Adam made yada to his wife Eve. Which means to know, to know deeply. This was no one night stand, you know, with someone that they just met. Like the verse clearly even um clarifies that he made love to his wife Eve. And other translations say Adam made intercourse to Eve. Adam slept with his wife Eve, Adam um had sexual relations with his wife Eve. King James, which is the closest translation of the Bible to the original transcripts, says um Adam knew Eve. Remember how Yada means to know deeply? Because for God, sex was not merely physical, it was relational union, covenant expression, it was vulnerable exposure and whole person knowing. Yada. This is hence why um sex was designed for marriage, because sex meant complete personal encounter, body soul identity. It implied mutual vulnerability, shared life, emotional and spiritual closeness, covenant oneness, which matches Genesis two twenty four, two shall become one flesh. Yada is the lived expression of that one flesh. Yada to know deeply is something you do, not something you feel. Surely there must be like a similar word to Eros because God made us sexual beings, Mila. Let's turn to Song of Solomon or Song of Songs. Chapter one Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. For your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes, your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young woman love you. Take me away with you, let us hurry, let the king bring me into his chambers. We rejoice and delight in you. We will praise your love more than wine. Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I'm darkened by the sun. Ooh, we got a tang going on. My mother's son were angry with me and made me take care of the wine yards. My own wine yard I had to neglect. It's giving sacrificial. Tell me you whom I love. I must stop there. Let's just quickly count because I just read the word love four times. Right? Up until verse seven, I just read the word love four times. What if I told you I actually only read it two times? This is translated from the original Hebrew transcripts. Two completely different Hebrew words for love was translated into one word in English love. We have originally dot and ahavah.

Dod & Ahavah

Host: Smilla 30:48

Let's refresh them again from earlier. Dot is beloved, lover, it means exclusive devotion, embodied affection within committed union, okay? It's that kind of intimate delight, but union focused. Chapter 2, 16 says, My beloved is mine and I am his. The beloved here is Dodi originally, which comes from Dod. And it's a mutual belonging centered in relational union. Okay, so dod is union-focused delight, not self-focused like Eros, worldly love. And then obviously Ahavah, which is covenantal. It's the Greek agape love. We read in 1 Corinthians 13 4. It's not just romantic marital delight like Dod, but rather emphasizes on the action, right? The commitment, the obedience. When Jacob expressed love for Rachel, it was ahavah. When God in Genesis expressed love for us, it was Ahavah. Ahavah is sacrificial love. God is Ahavah, Greek agape. Let's now read it again with the right translation. Okay. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your dod is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes, your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder young woman ahavah you. Take me away with you, let us hurry. Let the king bring me into his chambers, we rejoice and delight in you, we will praise your dod more than wine. Do not stare at me because I am dark because I'm darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the wine yards, my own wine yards I had to neglect. Tell me whom I Ahavah. That's why later in chapter eight six, when it says for love is as strong as death. Do you think the love here is dod or ahavah? It's of course Ahavah, because it's rooted in commitment beyond sensual affection and romantic longing. Ahavah is strong action, commitment and obedience. Imagine both your hands are two different people that commit to holding hands and not let go. Put your hands together. If both hands parties are ahavah and commit to stick together no matter what, what do you think is gonna happen? No one will let go. But if we believe love is what the world says, a feeling that can come and go, one of the hands will eventually let go when one feels restless. Because worldly love is not rooted in commitment, is rooted in convenience. The verse um in these chapters within Song of Songs, after the ones that we read, um it's a verse that repeats itself. It's um do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. You'll see it multiple times in multiple chapters. And the love here for don't awaken love until it so desires is ha ahavah, which means the love. The ahavah. The love. Emphasizing on covenantal love, marital love. So if anybody's been thinking that the song of songs is for non-covenantal relationships and someone dreaming outside of marriage or wanting love outside of marriage, that's inaccurate because originally, there if we look at the original transcripts, it's very covenantal, so much so that they didn't even use ahavah, they said ha ahavah to emphasize that it's the marital, covenantal love. Just wanted to clear that up. Anyway, this is why being equally yoked on this understanding of what love is essential. Cuz if one partner is giving worldly love and or heroes, you might say, and one partner is giving agape ahavah love, it's only a matter of time before extreme hardships and lament occur. Because just because God overpours agape ahavah love on us does not mean that we overflow with agape ahavah love to the people around us. That is a choice we choose to do, and that's why God asks us to cling to his word, because we cannot do what we do not know and understand. Okay, last example. I've just given you some love words in Hebrew from the Old Testament. I'm now gonna give you some love words from the New Testament in Greek. I've taught you some Hebrew, I'm not gonna teach you some Greek. Okay, we're gonna turn to John 215.

Phileo & Agape

Host: Smilla 35:58

Up until this point, Peter has denied Jesus three times. And even one of the times he cussed just to like really magnify that he is not a Christian, he did not know Jesus. Hence why we don't cuss or use bad language today, because that would separate us from God. You get me, hallelujah. Okay. Um, so yeah, up until that point, and then Jesus got crucified, he then resurrected, hallelujah, and then he appeared a couple times to the disciples after the resurrection, and this is one of the times, and he basically met the disciples uh whilst they were fishing, he helped them catch some fish, he then invited them to go back to the beach and they they sat and ate together around the fire. And we're gonna continue from verse 15. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon, Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? Yes, Lord, he said, You know that I love you. Jesus said, Feed my lamps. Again Jesus said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? He answered, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. Jesus said, Take care of my sheep. The third time he said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, do you love me? He said, Lord, you know with you know with all things, you know that I love you. Jesus said, Feed my sheep. And I'm gonna stop there. So Peter denied Jesus three times, and Jesus asked Peter, Do you love me three times? Note, however, how Jesus calls him Simon, which was his original word before he was given his name Peter by Jesus, uh, which means the rock, before Dwayne Johnson took it. Um But I just thought that that was kind of beautiful because it's kind of like Jesus is addressing the person he was before he denied him, and trying to make him remember the identity in Christ and who he was before he did that. Anyway, um just like the examples that I just read in um Song of Songs um and earlier, in this chapter, I've read love seven times. Right? We have Jesus asking him three times to love me, and um one time we hear it again, because Peter was heard that Jesus said uh he asked him a third intermediate love me, so it's an extra one time there. So it's seven times that I've said uh love in this chapter so far. However, what if I actually told you I only said love two times? Yup. The original transcripts in Greek had two completely different Greek words used, written in this text that was translated into one English word, love. So we have agape, which we have studied and I've read plenty of times in 1 Corinthians 13, 4, um, emphasizing on action, commitment, and obedience, uh which was selfless, covenantal, uh covenantal love, God-centered love that values giving over desiring, right? Um, what you do and not feel. The other word used in this example was Phileo, which I mentioned earlier in the beginning, which means brotherly love, um, strong lacking, affection, uh, friendship, fondness. Um, when Judas, who betrayed Jesus, kissed Jesus on the cheek, that was a um word that translated into philemma, which comes from Philio, um, which means that it was a friendly act um type of kiss, not a Hebrew dod type of kiss, like Song of Songs. That would be weird. So agape, commitment, obedience, sacrificial, willing to get rid of the other, and it's not driven by emotions, and then we have Phileo, which is more uh friendship type love, brotherly, loyal, fondness, emotional closeness, and deep friendship. Um, it's strong lacking, um, so it's more than casual lacking, but stronger than casual lacking. So to clear confusion, agape is active, covenantal, um sacrificial, uh self-giving love that's rooted in the in the will, right? In what he commands us to demonstrate. And then we have Phileo, which is more affectionate relational love that's rooted in warmth and attachment. But just to be clear, Phileo isn't bad. Like we all should have Phileo. God both Phileo and agapio the son biblically, and Jesus both agapio and Phileo his disciple in the Bible too. But Phileo isn't sacrificial, it's just loyal. Okay? So now let's read it again with the right words. This blew my mind when I read this. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you agape me more than these? Yes, Lord, he said, You know that I Phileo you. Jesus said, Feed my lambs. Again Jesus said, Son of John, do you agape me? He answered, Yes, Lord, you know that I Phileo you. Jesus said, Take care of my sheep. The third time he said, Simon, son of John, do you fillio me? With other words, do you even like me? Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, do you fillio me? He said, Lord, you know all things, you know that I Phileo you. Jesus said, Feed my sheep. This makes more sense now why Peter was hurt the third time when Jesus asked him, Do you love me? Because the third time he didn't really say I love do you love me? He said, Do you even like me? Because he had been asking two times, Peter, do you sacrificially love me? And Simon had replied, You know that I love you as a brother and that I'm loyal to you. And Jesus said, Yes, but do you sacrificially love me? And Peter has again replied, You know that I love you as brother more than more than anything. And the third time, do you even love me like a brother? And that's why hurt Peter got hurt. It might have been a combination of the fact that Jesus asked him three times and he get reminded that he denied him three times too, but I think there's a layer there of what the original transcript says that it's it's agape, agape, and then Jesus actually says, Do you even Phileo me? We would have never known that this was two completely different words in the original Greek transcripts if we didn't dig into them, right? So I would encourage you if you're reading your Bible in your own time, um like do come compare it to different translations and compare it to the original transcripts because you would get a deeper understanding. And maybe even a completely different understanding. This is also a story that demonstrates that Jesus meets us where we are. Regardless if we have faith the size of a mustard seed or stronger than a mountain, he meets us where we are, just like he met Simon where he was. He lowered his standards so that Simon could meet him. Where he was, but not low enough so that the effort would be taken off the table. Let me break that down. Did you know that it takes more effort to take care of lamps than it does to sheep? Lamps usually require 24-7 care. They um are more vulnerable to predators, so they usually need a 24-7 watch. They are more likely to get um like injured or sick. They sometimes the shepherds, if the lamps get like tired or weak, they have to be carried. Whereas sheep only needs like basic monitoring. They need to be sheltered and fed. That's pretty much it. First, Jesus said, feed my lamps. Then he says, Take care of my sheep. Then he says, feed my sheep. And as I mentioned earlier, it takes more effort to take care of lambs, right? So he lowered it after he said I Phileo you, okay fine, then just take care of my sheep. Don't take care of my lambs, take care of my sheep. Or don't feed my lambs, but take care of my sheep. And then the third time he said, just feed my sheep. So he lowered it. So Simon could meet him. Because regardless if it's a gap or Phileo, you still have to sacrifice still something you do, not something you feel. But the requirement wasn't high enough for Simon not to reach. He lowered it just enough so that Simon still had to sacrifice his effort. So he still had to show that he loved, not just felt, but showed, but just low enough for Simon to be able to actually do it. Even if it's failio, even if it's brotherly love, love still requires effort.

Effort, Action, Sacrifice

Host: Smilla 45:49

Even how before Jesus came to remove old traditions, rituals, the ceremonial laws, there was so much instruction um for how we would talk to God and uh get forgiveness. Right? At Mount Sinai, God gave an established structured sacrificial system for priests, altars, and rituals. Um you had like animals that was burned at the altar, you had blood shed on the altar for um atonement and amends of sins. You Israel was commanded to not wear uh mixed material on their garments, like wool and linen together. And although this was all to point us to the final sacrifice of Jesus, and like wool and linen together was to um make us understand the simplest amount of separation, I also believe that it was to teach us sacrifice and discipline within our character. So that when Jesus later removed the sacrificial rituals, we were left with a foundation that was normalized, a foundation to follow. We were taught to make an effort, an effort to leave our house and go to church, or I guess back then, tents and tabernacles, to financially sacrifice our livestock and kill and burn at the altar. We were left with a foundation to normalize, sacrificing our time, our efforts, our riches. So when Jesus said sacrifice or submit to your partner like Jesus died for the church, we would understand what that meant. We would understand that treating our partner is making an effort. And that 1 Corinthians 13 speaking about agape love is not a feeling, it's a verb. It's talking about making an effort. Feelings or emotions are driven by hormones, right? They don't usually require or necessarily require effort. So if the enemy tricks us to believe that love is a feeling, an emotion, he also tricks us that love doesn't require any effort. And if we lack making effort for love, thinking that it's a feeling and that um we are waiting for this feeling before we act on it, no effort is made. And because of that, we later lack making effort to show love to God. Cause our love is now based on convenience and not obedience. You start reading your Bible when you feel like it. Start going to church when it's convenient, you start only worshiping the songs that you like. It's no longer sacrificial or obedient. It's no longer a gap in love. Slowly but slowly, that foundation of that discipline and sacrifice that God taught us in the beginning of time through mosaic and ceremonial laws will fade away. All because we misunderstood a verb for a noun. The enemy has been planting seeds of false doctrine at the very beginning of existence, hence why God tells us to cling to his word so much, because the only way for us to even be aware of false doctrine is to compare with the truth. And he says, I am the way, the truth, and the life. Like even going back to some Hebrew Bibles that tells us Lucifer, aka Hallel, um, was an angel of wind instruments, regardless if that's a true, accurate translation or not, we can still agree that to the fact that he's crafty, right? And he definitely influences the entertainment industry a ton, coming from one who works in the industry herself. Um, so I don't know about you, but my love doctrines came from Disney films and examples of broken adults around me.

We Were Fed False Doctrine

Host: Smilla 50:35

The first Disney films that I saw was Snow White and the Jungle Book. Snow White dies and gets to be with a prince. Yeah, you better look up that ending, it's not what we thought it was. And and and Baloo secretly keeps and stalls Smokley away from his home. But that's love, right? It's giving sacrificial Huh Ariel had to become someone else and leave everybody and everything she knew behind to keep it. Belle was locked up in a tower against her own will. Um the sleeping beauty was sexually assaulted, yes. Kissing someone unconsciously is sexual assault. Jasmine she fell in love with a thief who literally lied about everybody, like everything about him. But we got told that they were in love. We were we grew up with with this as normal We were taught love is a feeling and that you can't help who you fall in love with. Sweetie, we were we were lied to, okay? We were taught false doctrines. Shy When you deep it, it's easy to see how the enemy has been planting seeds of of false doctrine and confusing confusion for storytelling all this time. But it's great grey. It's great grey even when you think it through and you get there, it's great gray. Yeah. You start saying, I love you because XYZ or I love you for XY that when biblically we shouldn't love anyone because of anything.

Dr.Adams Story

Host: Smilla 52:25

Dr. Adams, J Adams, was counseling someone who said, um, oh but I I just don't love my wife anymore. Where Dr. Adams replied, You're commanded to to love her. It's not an option. Bible says, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, Ephesians 5 25. It's not optional. It's not emotionally driven. Love is it's it's it's a will and commitment driven act. And as Dr. Adams was getting to the root of the issue, his patient said, I just can't live with her anymore. I just can't live in the same house. Then Dr. Adams said, hypothetically, if she moves out and moves in next door, she is now your neighbor. Even then God commands you to love your neighbor. Leviticus nineteen eighteen. Love your neighbor as yourself. Then the patient said, You don't understand, I just can't stay in this woman, like stand this woman. I don't even want to live in the same neighborhood. Doctor Adam said, Ah, I see a feelings of hostility against her. With other words, you regard her as your enemy. And doctor Adam said, Do I need to remind you what Christ commands his people? Matthew 5 44, love your enemies. Many of us are like that patient. We think acting out of love is emotionally driven and based on the other person and how they you know what they do and how they treat us in return, when biblical love was never transactional, but rather sacrificial and committed even to our enemies. Like if love was or is a feeling, how could we possibly love our enemies? However, if it was a commandment, it emphasizes that hey, you can have feelings of hostility and still choose to love them. For love is not a feeling. All the love words that we just um that we just went through, um Ahavah, Yada, Dod, Agape, Phelio, they all have one thing in common. They all require action. They all share that the joy delights is the feeling and love is the action. Oh Basmella, I love him. How could you explain my crush? Or God loving us. If First Corinthians 13 4 is the she code for Agape love, a crush or feeling of loving someone is really the joy emotion of playing that out. So when we say I love you, we're really saying I would act out 1 Corinthians 13 48 with joy for you. You having a crush on someone is you saying that you would happily act out 1 Corinthians 1348 for that someone or the idea of that someone. God loving us is him saying that he executes those verses for us. And sure, you can argue that I've been in love, how do you explain the butterflies in my belly? I would say that I think many people are confused what love is versus the love the world have told them it is. Just like salt and sugar look similar, love and lust can feel similar. Because lust can give you joy, and joy is the root emotion of love. I would reflect why you're feeling joyful over the person Is it because you want to act out first Corinthians thirteen four to them or and you like being a service? Or is it because you like getting aroused? Or is it because they make you feel safe, fill a void? Or make you feel loved because they are executing 1 Corinthians 13 4 to you? Are your parents agapy loving you or just nurturing you? And do you love them or just respect them? Do you love your teacher, mentor or do you just love loyalty for them? Do you love him or her or just care about them? Did you fall out of love or did you stop committing? And do they love you or just value you? Have you confused Eros with agape? Because anything but the entire 1 Corinthians 13 4, sorry to break it to you. But that is not love. And if it's not lust, it's a form of joy. And joy doesn't necessarily need to be bad just because it's not love, but calling it love would be mislabeled. Biblical love is not an emotion, it's a verb, it's a responsibility, it's a committed relationship rooted in obedience and sacrifice. And a relationship is something you do, not something you feel. The words that we went through, apart from heroes, um, are actually in the Bible, right? We are called to serve, to sacrifice, love your enemies, love your neighbor. That means putting your pride and desires aside and act from obedience and not convenience. Jesus washed his disciples' feet, he later died for us and calls us to love your wife as Jesus died for the church. So it would not make sense for him to use the word Eros within the context of marriage because Eros is self-serving. It goes against what he's calling us to do. Eros is self-serving based on hormones and impulses and emotions, and that's within you, right? And God is calling us to crucify the flesh. The opposite. Equip ourself with knowledge and truth. Following God is dying to self. He says, Don't trust self. Your hearts will lie to you. Jeremiah 179. Agape and ahavah is who God is and what he calls us to live out. We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can't do that if we don't stop keeping records of our own wrongs. Paul She code that he gave us in 1 Corinthians 13 48, we need to apply to ourselves. Take care of our own bodies, God's temple, rejecting some cravings for healthier options, prioritizing sleep over TikTok scrolling or Netflix binge watching. We need to sacrifice for ourselves to. Agape versus Eros type of love might not be something that you're struggling with in your relationships. It might be something that you're struggling with your job, your dream, that calling, that vision. So is the root of that job, that dream, self-gratification, or does it serve the people around you? Will that dream only benefit you, or does it also benefit God? Is it sacrificial love that overflows to the people around you, or is it just self-gratification? I'm gonna wrap up because I could talk all day. Um but today's message had weights. It was a lot of information to both learn and unlearn. And if you have false doctrine of love, it's gonna take you some time to replace it with the true doctrine. Therefore, maybe you need to re-listen, study, or fast, or seek his presence deeper and ask him to help you reflect on the question: Am I fully loving others or am I half-committing? Let's pray. Father God, I just thank you for this message. I thank you that we have access to the Bible and these transcripts, Father. I pray that you will guide us as we dig into your word, that you will help us get the true doctrine and the true translation, and help us align our posture and our identity with who you say we are. I thank you that you love us. I thank you that you reveal areas in us that we can cleanse and restore and rebuild. And I just pray that you will help us be in a posture where we can receive it and not with condemnation, but with conviction, and understand that conviction is love. That is you addressing an area because you care about us, because you love us, and you see not just who we are, but who we can become. I pray for a revival in us and that you will reshape the false doctrines of whatever area that we have been given of the world, of the enemy, of things around us that are not of you, and replace it with a true doctrine. In Jesus' mighty name I pray. Amen. Thank you for tuning in. Um if you want to be notified for future episodes, you can subscribe on YouTube or hit that notification button or follow button. And yeah, let's continue to reflect, restore, and rebuild. Until next time, guys. Bye.